Returning to school after the summer or starting school for the first time can be a daunting experience for both children and parents. At Whole Child Therapy (WCT), we support children, their parents, and their schools in meeting a child’s unique needs, especially during stressful times like the transition back to school.
At WCT, we focus on developing long-term skills rather than quick fixes. We also recognise that informed and supported parents are essential to a child’s well-being and success. Here are some of our favourite back-to-school strategies that you can adopt at home to help everyone feel more confident about returning to school.
- Reducing the anxiety of the unknown – Research shows that anxiety is linked to not knowing the ‘what is going to happen’ moments in life – the fear of the unknown. Helping your child plan their school day and week can help lessen anxiety. Going through ‘what could we do?’ scenarios allows a child to feel more prepared. You can use role-playing and stories to help your child think about school and plan ahead. Developing consistent routines or rituals that your child enjoys will help them feel organised and secure.
- A touchstone – Providing all children, especially teenagers, with a small token or item they can hold, fiddle with, or connect with at school – can be a useful anchoring tool as it is soothing and redirects anxious energy. Blu-Tack, a small stone, and a fidget toy are all effective. If your child tends to lose things or worries about losing them, consider choosing a replaceable item, such as Blu-Tack, a pebble, or a small rubber ball. Just make the school aware that it’s part of a sensory strategy.
- Role Model Feelings and Experiences – All humans find the questions ‘what is wrong?’ or ‘how do you feel?’ challenging to answer. Instead, try talking to your child about your feelings and sensory experiences. Talk about the tools you use, or even ones you could use, like breathing, going for a run, or chewing your pen.
- Ask for Help – The best way to support a child in solving a problem is to ask them to help you find a strategy for your situation. Children and teenagers enjoy feeling useful. Being asked for our advice makes us ALL feel valued and liked. Ask them to assist you with a work-related issue, such as a bully, a heavy workload, persistent lateness, or dissatisfaction with your appearance. Observe how quickly they come up with solutions to your problem.
- Give them tools for planning – Often when children find it difficult to plan things, we step in and make the plan for them so they rely on us for timing and sequences of things. Help them to get used to developing their own plans by planning out their own morning routine, setting their own alarm clock and thinking through the steps and timings needing to complete a task.
- Productivity and value – Being productive and valuable to others are essential components of human well-being. Help your child develop a sense of purpose and worth by engaging in productive activities. This could include making gifts for others, raising money for a charity, or caring for an animal or plant. To help make school feel more enjoyable, they can create a card for a teacher, make key rings or friendship bracelets for friends, feed their pet in the morning, or incorporate watering or feeding plants in their morning routine. Observe your child’s confidence and self-esteem grow as a result of being productive.
- Sensory Input – Research shows that all children and teenagers boost their learning engagement and outcomes through sensory motor activities, particularly through heavy work and aerobic exercise. Including an element of ‘adaptive input’ actively supports the development of sensory perceptual skills. Adaptive means being able to change in response to the environment, such as changing direction, balancing on uneven surfaces, and moving up and down. Try introducing fun and active games before and during your journey to school. Silly dances, “Floor is Lava,” tag, Simon Says, yoga, and cycling all provide plenty of opportunities for you to connect with your child and provide regulating sensory input.
- Create calm, safe spaces – For primary-age children, we use sensory tents, dens, and forts. For schools or small spaces, try making a sensory bag. Consider all the sensory systems: something that feels pleasant, sounds nice, and smells nice. Massagers, vibrating pillows, light-up toys, slime, squishies, blankets, and weighted blankets are effective options. Small world toys and puppets can help your child in role-play, allowing them to express their feelings. To ensure the space is safe, involve your child in setting the rules within the den or tent. Allow siblings to have their own spaces or bags so each child can keep their special items safe. Let your child decide when you can enter and when not to, and aim to keep a consistent space for them. For teenagers, self-care routines can be a way to introduce calming inputs into their day. Providing sensory items for their room, such as projectors, noise machines, weighted blankets, coloured light bulbs, and room scents, can be very helpful.
- Busy Hands Help Kids Talk – Make time to be with your child or teen. Don’t focus on ‘big conversations’. Instead, focus on creating moments of shared experience and opportunities for flow. This means joyfully losing yourself in an activity until you forget about time. Try activities like making, building, and playing. We enjoy playing cards, board games, and computer games, as well as nature treasure hunts, decorating schoolbooks or pencil cases, and making scrapbooks. Honestly, any creative or playful activity you enjoy yourself. The more you enjoy it, the stronger your connection with your child. You could also try gardening, building a den or obstacle course, making gifts for others, or creating petal perfume – the list goes on and on. BUT have FUN.
- Practice self-advocacy by modelling how you feel and normalising your child’s way of sharing theirs. Start by recognising physical sensations: my head hurts, it’s too loud, the light is bright. I feel better when we turn it down. Being rushed has given me butterflies. Can you help me take a breath? I feel my heart racing, I am tired, and I wonder if water might help. Try doing and saying these things with your children. Honour their sensory experiences and offer strategies when they do not feel comfortable or safe.
- Our three favourite neuroscience secrets:
Yawning resets the Central Nervous System (CNS). Yawning is also contagious; teaching a child to yawn when they are stressed, tired, anxious, or scared can actually help them reset to a more regulated state.
Smell is the fastest way to reset the sensory system. The olfactory (scent) receptor is located in our amygdala, the part of the brain that governs emotional memory and fight or flight responses. This suggests that a safe scent can help a child calm down quickly and effectively. We use scented putty, homemade personal fragrances, and a hanky with a scent in their pocket or bag. Since everyone responds differently to specific smells, ensure your child or teen chooses and creates their own scent. Also, remember that coffee beans can reset our scent receptors and make excellent tactile play items.
Nature and awe release the love hormone oxytocin. Make time to be outside, look deeper into nature with your child, play nature bingo, stop and examine the shape of leaves, see who can find a bug, find a leaf as big as your hand, find a stick longer than you, and guess the bird song. These are all ways to make connecting with nature more enjoyable and to build bonds with your child. Try walking to school or parking a little further away. Spend the morning in the garden, even if it’s cold; you might find it also helps you set up for a happier day.
Why not take the first step towards Empowering Joy today? There’s always a friendly voice at the end of the phone and someone waiting to respond to your email.
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